Some "fun" people we met in our first job...

So how did we get into our first job?
Snow White: Got out of college. Was looking for a job. Had never heard of the company before. And here I landed - naive in the corporate world... just coz this was the first offer that came my way.
Mermaid: Finished college. Circumstances brought the need to get into a job right away. Got thru in the interview and joined this place - not knowing what was in store!

But this post is not about what we did in our first job - rather about all the "fun" people we met there - most of whom we may never forget. It's worth writing about them coz it was the first and only time so far in our lives that we saw such variety of people all in one place. Some of whom we knew, some we didn't, but we still think of them and have a laugh sometimes. We don't mean to make fun of people, just appreciating their uniqueness and the way they were unintentionally funny :)

** He'd prefer suffixing his name with that of a great scientist, though we never saw the connection. Now he was absolutely serious and quiet, and despite being our teammate he never once spoke to us, yet everything was funny about this guy. Everything. He tried his best to be very very very sweet to the customers on the calls - so sweet that anybody would fear the customer would die if he had diabetes. The best part is when both of us would end up sitting in cubicles on either side of his, and imitate him on MSN and bend forward to look at each other and pass signals - and he would give us that deadly look, knowing we were up to something, but he could never guess what.
** Again another very serious guy and VERY sweet to customers. Wouldn't talk much to others. But sometimes suddenly you'd hear a croaking sound, and we'd think it is the sound coming from a spyware removal software when it finds spyware. Later we discovered it was him (clearing his nose), and from then on, he was called Adaware. Ofcourse he didn't know it.
** He was the self-confessed boyfriend of every girl on the floor (ofcourse he was kidding). He wrote his number in Snow White's diary - instead of writing his name, he wrote "boyfriend". He'd start his day by shaking hands with everybody, but once you shook hands with him, you'd really get annoyed. He'd shake your whole arm.
** A nice guy, with a thin frame, but sometimes he seemed to get that great feeling "Oh, I look great today. So I better walk like a handsome model walking the ramp". He'd put his chest up, try to broaden his shoulders, chin up, and once he'd start his ramp-walk, it would all look funny.
** This guy was hilarious. You couldn't stop laughing if u saw him on his calls. He'd be trying to solve a technical problem of an American customer on the call, but u could hear everything but technical things. Once on the phone, he was trying to teach a customer how to wear a dhoti - actions and all - "you take the dhoti between your legs" (and he actually bent forward to show how) "and take it out from behind" (he showed that too) "and tuck it in". How could an American see through his phone and understand this???
Snow White - Once I ended up sitting beside him. I had a serious issue I was trying to resolve, and this man is on phone saying "I will tell you how to make Makke Di Roti and Sarson Ka Saag" to an American. And he went on with his recipe. Poor American!
** This guy was supposed to give us technical guidance when we'd just started. Those were the initial days and we used to be terrified during our calls. The worst situations would be when we were supposed to solve technical problems which we'd never ever heard of, and that's when we needed his help the most. We'd run to him literally begging for help, with our customers on hold. And there he goes with his tales of his success in a similar situation before. "Ek banda tha..." ("there was this chap"...) and it never ends.
Mermaid - I'd feel like fast forwarding the story of his "banda" so that he comes to the point and helps me out.
Snow White - I'd feel like shutting his mouth and threatening him "You better help me first". Once he went on and on with his "banda" story but I really needed help coz my customer was getting wild. So I told him "Can u first help me, and then after my case is resolved, I'll listen to your banda's story?"
** This guy had that royal air about him - loud, sometimes gawdy and sometimes cute, like a lion in the jungle, a giant teddy bear. Atleast he'd eat like a king. We were cab-mates.
Snow White - During our journey to the office, I'd drift off to sleep. And suddenly I'd wake up to realize that I was resting my head on the big teddy bear's cushiony shoulder. I could only reach till his shoulder. I'd give him an apologetic look, and he'd look down at me saying without words "It's OK, better be careful next time". But this happened almost everyday. :-S
Mermaid - Yes, I was a witness to that!!! We have some common embarrassing situations with this guy. We almost always had a problem with his professional attitude. And one day, I went over to him and had this heavy argument and came back to my place and typed everything about it for Snow but ended up pasting it on his chat!!! And then I said "Oh sorry, I was trying some shortcut keys", and he said "OK". That was the dumbest thing I ever said, and ofcourse he knew what I was trying to do! :-S
Snow - Once I had a similar argument with him and I wanted to share this with Mermaid. Again I worked very hard on MSN, typed the long argument we had and pasted it on his chat!!! Same blunder repeated!! And since I couldn't come up with a smart reason like Mermaid's, I said "Sorry, I was trying something" and he gave a cold response - "OK". But again, he knew what that "something" was!
** Now in our fairytale, comes Sleeping Beauty. Unfortunately, it was a guy, nowhere close to beauty, but always sleeping. A friend, nice, funny guy, who can laugh at himself more than he can at others. Whatever accent he has, he's the only one in this whole wide world with it.
Snow White - I used to sit beside him for quite a long period. And I saved his job almost everyday. He still has gratitude for me. The way he'd drift off to sleep was funny. He would be in the middle of a critical issue - he'd have finished Step1, 2, 3 with the customer and when it was time to just click on the last OK, he'd sleep with his finger on the mouse. He'd end up clicking so much on his screen that when he woke up, he'd be surprised and say "Man! How did so many windows pop up?". And the way I used to wake him up was equally funny. It went through different stages -
1. I used to be polite and say "Excuse me, please wake up" and just tap on his shoulder.
2. When that didn't work, I used to shake his chair and shout at him. No more politeness.
3. As time passed, I'd just kick his chair and shake him up - the 6 ft tall kumbhakaran.
Later it became Mermaid's responsibility too.
** She was tall and smart looking - if you didn't know her, you'd think she was a smart and wise lady, somebody with common sense and wisdom like average people like us. But once you heard her talking to her customers, or rather seen her on calls with customers, she was funny. She was so artificial, everything was highly put-on about her. And what gave her the confidence to continue that, was probably that she felt she was the best. (Actually that's a commendable quality, but we still prefer someone more natural). Her way of being smart was funny. And the "smart" ways would peak up when you had new people and lot of crowd on the floor. Everyone invariably looked at her, and she took pride in it. Even when she was in the cab, she'd put on the style and poise to attract the crowd, but the crowd would be dead - tired after the night shift. Didn't work.
** Small(but powerful), smart, a nice girl, a friend. It was funny to see the way she would react when she got wild with the customer...her temper would rise and the higher it goes, she'd confront her customer with the most powerful, hard-hitting words that you just felt pity for the guy at the other end of the phone. Once a customer commented on the Indian accent. And her reply was "So, how many languages do YOU speak in America?". Whatever the guy said (they obviously don't speak more than 1 language), she shot back - "here we speak 5 different languages - the national language, the state language, mother tongue, regional languages and ofcourse English. So HOOOOW do you expect us not to have an influence of the other languages?" And there were no further arguments. Many of us would encounter irate customers but here was one irate Tech Support!
** Talking of mother-tongue influence, this sweet, funny guy had a heavy MTI. He'd give a damn for putting on an artificial accent and would go on in his own style. "Fodo(follow) the steps I am endering in the yemail and kol back if it doesn't work". "Yesterday 1 lodi(lorry) went over my feet". No offence meant, but the way he used to say it was very funny. The first time he communicated with Snow was when he was sitting next to her - and on chat, he says "ASL please"!!!
** Blessed with a dense bush on his head and face, u could find this guy with his ears, eyebrows, chin and every visible part of his face pierced. It was either hair or rings on his face. Once he came clean shaven and we couldn't recognize him.
** She had a seductive way of instructing people over phone - unintentionally ofcourse and that was what made it funny. Whenever we used to sit next to her, we'd really laugh hard. "Ookaaay Maaark, nooow click on Staaart" - wish we could record it and put it here :-D
** He was loud and passionate about his calls. He believed in 1 policy - educating the customer in the best possible way, so that he never ever forgets u or what u said. If you ever want to know the story of Troy, sit beside him and hear him educate the customer about Trojan horses (something like viruses - for more information, contact this man :-P )
** He was our cute manager. Inherently funny, very cute and sweet. There was something like Charlie Chaplin about him. And he was really troubled by us. We'd normally walk up to him whenever we had problems or to fight for something. He was once trying to hide under the table when he saw us coming :-D He did many funny things which we can't recollect, but he WAS really funny, naturally.
** This guy looked like a very traditional, innocent, religious, pious human being. But once he opened his mouth a different man would emerge. He used to try to put on an accent and the body language of an American. But it failed to please people.
** Snow was his self-chosen God Mother. He would pour his heart out about his lost laptop, programming, psychology study and other nitty gritty issues like why he was on leave, why he was late to office etc. He'd get no response back - ofcourse Snow would very politely and sweetly listen to whatever was being said. In the cab, when he'd open his mouth to speak, she'd imagine a million, billion germs coming out - the louder he spoke, the more germs fell out.
** A tomboy. She'd sit with her legs up on the table and whenever the Manager would approach, she'd put them down and as soon as he'd leave, she'd swear and put them back up again. On her calls, she'd go - "Ok, John" - mute - "saala, kutta" - unmute - "yes please, click on start" - mute - "kutta, kameena" - unmute - "right, that button" - mute - "kameena, kuch samajhta nahin hai" - unmute "sure, no problem - hehehe"...
There were many many others who we remember, who were funny, but we cannot write anything specifically funny about them. The work was monotonous, stressful and sometimes very tiring. The only thing that kept life lively was these people. Thanks to them. We haven't met such people after that - not so many in 1 single place. So we don't want to forget them :-)

To end this post, we'd like to share our views of each other during those times.

Mermaid : Snow was innocently funny. All she said would turn out to be funny. You'd have people discussing things in groups, each presenting his/her views in long, complicated words and there she'd come up with 1 line that would be so funny and worth shutting everyone's mouth. Her one-line sarcasm was so well known that someone even coined a new word - "karmastic". She had many admirers - girls and guys alike - for her sweet, innocent demeanor. I don't think there was anybody who disliked her - she was loved by all - even the most khadoos people. On her calls, she was one of the most serious people. Although very sweet, she would never give in to any of the jokes the people on the other end tried to crack. Even when the customer would laugh at his own joke, she'd sit still on her chair and say "Ok, now click there". Such a serious cold reply would make me burst out laughing sitting next to her. All in all, she was a cute, simple(yet stylish), smart, sweet, wonderful person to be with and now turned out to be my dearest friend. Love you, Snow :-)

Snow: Aah..can't handle so much of good words n love showered by Mermaid :). Well..things are diferent now and hence i miss all those people who were nice to me there. Mermaid and i were in diferent training groups. And she's the only one I remembered well from her group...her smartness and her smart hair style is what made her stand out in that crowd. And despite being in the same team..for over a year we just exchanged hi -bye. I would call her a roadrunner on the call... once she starts giving instructions on the call...she would say 5 long sentences without any gramatical erros, without a full stop and at a great speed. Customers had to be alert and had to grasp and comprehend at her speed. And the best part is she was very professional...so much that she would talk at a constant rate, standard tone and calculated number of laughs and a standard style. Example - "Oh really, thats very funny...ha ha ha ha (only four times)..."Yes, jon...sure ...ha ha ha ha (again only four times)". Overall, she was one of the smartest n simple( yet stylish) :) girls in our process.Yes, she had some people who admired her smart dressing style and her hair style was her USP!! We were quite popular as a couple (of friends).

Things have changed now...not so many nice, funny and interesting people around. We don't work in the same place anymore...not really in touch with many friends we had then. Thank god I have one friend very close to me :). And we are fortunate to be living as neighbours. It helps!!!!